Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• That gentleman on the right? Chris Chelios. Do not adjust the brightness or contrast settings on your screen. He's actually that tan. [Silver]
• Pittsburgh Penguins GM Ray Shero on Sidney Crosby's progress back from injury: "He's happy with his progress. Training camp is a month away, so there's no expectation for me that he won't be ready or will be ready. He's doing his usual routine. He'll probably be in a week before camp starts, and we'll evaluate him then to see how he's doing. … All in all, it's been a good summer for him getting back home and really getting back into his workout routines on and off the ice, so we'll see what the next month brings us to training camp and of course, Oct. 6 for the regular season." [From The Point Too]
• Here's video and a transcript of Shero's presser. [Penguins]
• Hooks from Pensburgh on Sid: "Anyone who's lifted weights can tell you that it's quite common to become dizzy, light-headed or have a headache during a workout. Now imagine that workout is a high tempo, world class one. Is that the extent of it? What can outside observers tell?" [Pensburgh]
• Kevin Smith's hockey opus "Hit Somebody" will be a two-parter, "Kill Bill" style. (Smith has also said that the film is Canada-centric and will feature cutaways to different moments in Canadian history … hopefully narrated by Alan Rickman.) [Slash Film]
• Peter Laviolette is in no rush to name Chris Pronger captain a captain of the Philadelphia Flyers. [Philly.com]
• Via Leahy, Fabian Brunnstrom (a.k.a. the unicorn at the circus) is getting an invite to Detroit Red Wings camp. Can this guy make a contribution or is he destined to be an NHL bust? [Malik Report]
• Jewels From The Crown with your Drew Doughty light reading. [JFTC]
• Wayne Gretzky talking NHL 12 and what it was like the first time someone called him "The Great One": "I don't mean this in an egotistical way, but it kind of rolled off my back. When I was 10 years old, I scored 400 goals that year in youth hockey and a reporter in southern Ontario in a newspaper article sort of gave me that and the nickname stuck with me my whole career. I really am humbled by it and don't really think about it too much. It's kind of funny." [Cluster Pucks]
• The USA Hockey's National Team Development Program announced Monday it has named Don Granato head coach of the U.S. National Under-17 Team. [NHL.com]
• The Penguins are facing a question or two or 10 next season. [Pens Universe]
• David Shoalts suggests using a reality television show to find a buyer for the Phoenix Coyotes. Hey, if this brings us closer to having Snooki at a Board of Governor's meeting, we're down. [Globe & Mail]
• Former Dallas Stars defenseman Jeff Woywitka joins the Montreal Canadiens for a 1-year, 2-way deal. [DFW SportsDay]
• On luck, hockey and science. [PPP]
• Good stuff from Neil Greenberg on the decline of top snipers: "History suggests elite goal scorers are often average goal scorers by the time they turn 27 years old. Most goal-scoring wingers peak between ages 23 and 25, and then the decline begins to accelerate after age 26." [Capitals Insider]
• Very provocative post about the "human toll" of fighting in the NHL. [Silver Seven]
• Projecting Marian Gaborik's output for next season. [Blueshirt Banter]
• Really liked this post from Cardiac Cane about hockey evangelism, which is probably a foreign concept to our Canadian readers. But in the States, puckheads should diligently recruit fans who dig sports but not hockey to get into the game. [Cardiac Cane]
• Finally, here's some documented proof that Happy Gilmore himself attended the Boston Bruins victory parade.