Matt Lashoff is a smooth-voiced John Mayer soft rock radio hunk that occasionally dabbles in NHL hockey as a defenseman for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Which brings us to the biggest hockey news of the week:
The new Lashoff is here! The new Lashoff is here!
Remember how he rocked on the Rock Band bass during Pearl Jam's "Alive" with the Boston Bruins? This time it's real instruments, baby.
"Living On Heart" is the name of the album, a title that does sound eerily familiar to the highlight DVD of 2010-11 Leafs defensemen, "Landing On Ass." It's an 11-song collection mostly written by Lashoff and performed by this band, which is one female midget with a ukulele away from being the most random assortment of musicians ever assembled this side of Gogol Bordello.
What does this thing sound like? Well, drop your $9 and buy it on Amazon. Or cycle through the song samples on Lashoff.com like we did and form your own hasty opinions. Like we did.
From Matt Lashoff's new album, complete irresponsible song reviews based on streaming samples:
"Save Me" — If this thing isn't on one of those Christian rock compilation CD they advertise on cable TV, with the whitebread teens singing the lyrics in the concert crowd, our faith is shaken.
"Branch Ave." — Our expectation was that this song would have Lashoff naming off the different roads in Greenbush, New York. Instead it's a wistful ballad, which is fine too we guess.
"Wasting Away" — We're assuming he rhymes "Marlies" with "Harleys" but what rhymes with "Nazem Kadri"?
"Fall Apart" — Official anthem of the Leafs playoff push of 2011.
"Living On Heart" — Woot! Title track! And it's catchy, like the song that plays over the credits of a heartfelt PG teen comedy.
"Cold Cold Cold" — Lashoff's three reasons why he won't be playing for the new NHL team in Winnipeg.
"Before You Accuse Me" — If Matt Lashoff gets any more soul on this track, we're going to have to order out for greens.
"Something I Know" — This is another song that features emotional distance with a loved one, which makes us think there's a rough-edged, road weary blue album lurking somewhere underneath this Kris Allen EP.
"Clear Sky" — Lashoff can't even begin to count the money that's going to roll in when a natural gas company buys this track for its ads.
"While We Cry" — An upbeat park rock anthem about fast cars and dancing on bars and … oh, wait, it's actually a mournful ballad.
"Hockey Night in Canada" — Look, we had some fun with Lashoff here, which is a terrible thing to do to someone willing to put their art out there for public consumption. So, real talk: This is a country blues version of the "Hockey Night In Canada" theme that's awesome, worth the price and should be the first thing you hear if the Nashville Predators ever win the Cup.
So get the sucker on iTunes and support a young NHLer whose interests appear to actually reach beyond ugly T-shirts and cheap beer (not that there's anything wrong with either). As Bobby Ryan of the Anaheim Ducks tweeted: "Kid can strum it!! And he needs the cash! Go buy it!"