Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• Decimated by injuries, the German national team had no choice but to put Mr. Cinders the Wonder Dragon in their starting lineup on left defense. He ended up a minus-3 and was ejected for biting the arm off the linesman on an offside. The German League later claimed it was a hockey play that occurred in the 'biting zone.' [Getty]
• The San Jose Sharks in Game 6s? That would be 3-13. [Jewels From The Crown]
• So, Los Angeles Kings Coach Terry Murray, your team gave up 52 shots against the Sharks. Ewww-weee, what up with dat? "I don't even look at the 52 shots very long. I know it was there, but it's not a number that I'm concerned about. We always break those numbers down to smaller areas. It's the grade-A quality chances that are the ones that I really focus in on. That number was not too bad." [LA Kings Insider]
• Sharks Coach Todd McLellan on Antti Niemi: "We don't expect him to be perfect. We expect him to be a little bit better and I think he expects that of himself." [Working The Corners]
• The key in Game 6 against the Pittsburgh Penguins for the Tampa Bay Lightning? Calm down. From Guy Boucher: "Fans are waiting for that big win in the playoffs, and everybody cared so much, probably too much and it took us away from our task. We want to make sure we come to the ice intense but mentally calm about what we want to do." [Lightning Strikes]
• My gawd, is that Evgeni Malkin's music!? (Yes, but he's not playing in this postseason.) [Tribune]
• The Philadelphia Flyers and Buffalo Sabres are two markets that can "move the needle" on national ratings. So NBC earned a 1.6 overnight for Game 6 of that series, which is their best first-round rating since 2009 and a Flyers/Penguins game. [Puck The Media]
• Lindy Ruff says that despite the similarities to Game 7 in the 2006 conference finals, when a slew of injuries cost the Buffalo Sabres a trip to the final round, this year's Game 7 will have a "fairy-tale ending." We're betting on someone kissing Brad Boyes to wake him from his slumber or Nathan Gerbe being revealed as some sort of a wood sprite. [Sabres Edge]
• Complete coverage of the Nashville Predators' first journey to the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. [On The Forecheck]
• Ryan Kesler hasn't scored a goal in six games, and now he's going to have to deal with being The Guy Who Made a Win Guarantee and Then His Team Lost. [QMI]
• Interesting story from over the weekend: The Columbus Blue Jackets asked the NHL about moving to the Eastern Conference and found out that there's no super special agreement that the Detroit Red Wings get to move there first. Problem is that the Atlantic and Northeast are sorta perfect as they are, no? [Blue Jackets Xtra]
• From Elliotte Friedman's latest CBC column: "During a Fan 960 Calgary radio interview last week, Rhett Warrener wondered how Gordie Howe and Mark Messier would be received if they played now. It's a great question, because part of both men's lore is the 'intimidating elbow' they would deliver to soften an opponent's melon. Of course, they weren't using killer elbowpads and didn't care as much about concussions back then." [CBC Sports]
• The Washington Capitals don't have a game until, like, May, so there's time for injury rehab. But Coach Bruce Boudreau wouldn't put a timetable on the health of Mike Knuble and Dennis Wideman. [Capitals Insider]
• Who will coach the Ottawa Senators? The Citizen assesses the field and sees Wings assistant Paul MacLean, Habs assistant Perry Pearn, St. Louis assistant Brad Shaw and Anaheim assistant Dave Farrish as the most likely candidates. [Ottawa Citizen]
• Great, now that bastard Trevor Gillies is breaking bread, too ... Oh, wait, think we misunderstood the headline. [Islanders]
• Game 6 was the second greatest miracle on Easter Sunday in the history of mankind. [Rumors and Rants]
• Via The Danny Mac Show, it's the doo-wop-tastic "Luongo Weeps Tonight." Ouch:
• "Historically speaking, the Blackhawks have put Team Choke on the verge of a spectacular gag. Stay thirsty, my Vancouver friends." [Daily Herald]
• Another look at NHL.com's unstoppable pun machine. How was "Won't Black Down" never a Jay-Z song? [The Royal Half]
• General Manager Steve Tambellini announced today the Edmonton Oilers have agreed to terms with defenceman Martin Marincin on a three-year entry level contract. Marincin, 19, finished his first season with the Western Hockey League's Prince George Cougars, appearing in 67 games collecting 56 points (14G, 42A) and 65 penalty minutes. [Oilers]
• Good piece on Jordan Eberle, his breakout rookie season and the expectations on him for the Oilers. [Copper and Blue]
• Rick Nash has been named Canada's captain for the NIT. [Blue Jackets]
• Finally, a plea to get the St. Louis Blues into the NHL Winter Classic through the hypnotic use of jaunty old-timey music. Not only that, but a Blues vs. Montreal Canadiens Winter Classic. Ratings bonanza!