Here you go, ladies.
• John Tortorella should hold his press conferences on Twitter where his penchant for brevity is an asset and not a massive slap in the face to everyone. [CSN Washington]
• Hockey Night in Canada host Scott Oake shares the story of his son's fatal addiction. [The Globe & Mail]
• AHL attendance rose by 5% in 2011-12, with the Hershey Bears leading the way for the 6th straight season. [Sports Business Daily]
• The NHL won a Sports Emmy for its amazing 2011 Stanley Cup Final spot, "No Words." With the win, the NHL now has more Emmys than Hugh Laurie and Bob Newhart combined. [Sportsnet]
• Bruce Ciskie observes that the Kings bear a strong resemblance to the 2004 Calgary Flames. Let's hope the resemblance goes no further. After that Flames team made the Cup Final, there was a lockout, during the league tried to fix whatever happened that let that Flames team made the Final. [SB Nation]
• In case it wasn't clear after Monday's 5-2 loss, Alex Pietrangelo is pretty important to the Blues. [STL Today]
• Down Goes Brown's NHL Awards cheat sheet. [National Post]
• Is the KHL trying to poach Alexander Burmistrov? His agent denies it. [Winnipeg Free Press]
• The Philadelphia Flyers weren't nominated for any NHL awards. Since their team is extra-special, the explanation for this must be extra-special as well. Conspiracy! We would note that, while the conspiracy is said to be among the Professional Hockey Writers Association, the Jack Adams award is decided by the broadcasters. [CSN Philly]
• ESPN mobile sees the toothless grin and looks no further. (Via PD reader Roger.)
• Here's a story of a guy that won hockey's Memorial Cup, slipped on a broken stick and suffered a career-ending back injury, then became a chiropractor for horses. A very natural career progression. [USA Today]
• The NCAA is considering a switch from full to three-quarter faceshields. [BDN Maine]
• The Los Angeles Kings are outscoring their opponents shorthanded, which is helpful. [Backhand Shelf]
• On Shane Doan and Mike Fisher's friendship, which is on hold for the time being. [ESPN]
• Horrible editorial letter of the day: this guy thinks the Canucks should change their name because there are no real Canucks on the team. Right. And I don't think any members of the San Jose Sharks even have gills. Also this gem: "Corey Schneider's display of a U.S. flag on his helmet is, in my opinion, disrespectful and tacky." [Times Colonist]
• What are Boston's summer plans? [The Hockey News]
• The coolest yacht ever is made entirely of wooden objects, such as hockey sticks, that were donated by the public. [Guardian]
• The Edmonton Oilers have announced the signing of Latvian winger Kristians Pelss to a three-year, entry-level deal. [Edmonton Journal]
• Kings' goaltending icon Rogie Vachon gushes about Jonathan Quick. [Ottawa Citizen]
• Sure, this 9-year-old can do that fancy, twirling lacrosse move, but I bet he can't backcheck to save his life. If he and I were on a team coached by Dale Hunter, I'd get way more minutes than him.