Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• "It was at this point Fred realized that perhaps those mushrooms weren't porcini after all … and that he really needed to stop falling asleep to 'American Gladiators' reruns."
• Daniel Alfredsson will not play again in the 2010-11 season for the Ottawa Senators due to a bum back. And next season? "I felt OK on the ice, but not enough to justify playing in a game. It's been dragging on for a while, I expect to be back next year." [QMI]
• Ryan Miller is skating again for the Buffalo Sabres, but won't play for Buffalo on Tuesday against Tampa Bay. Which is fine, because … [Sabres Edge]
• … Buffalo Sabres goaltender Jhonas Enroth was named the third star in the NHL's 'Three Stars' for the week ending Apr. 3, along with Anaheim Ducks right wing Corey Perry and Calgary Flames right wing Jarome Iginla. [NHL]
• Here's the Professional Hockey Writers' Association statement on a boycott of the NHL Awards from some of its members over the treatment of Chris Botta by the New York Islanders. More about this in a bit. [On Frozen Pond]
• Hey, remember how the Montreal Canadiens allowed their fans to chose the Three Stars this season? Well, they also chose the de factor MVP for the Habs, the first time the fan vote has done so. Hint: They booed him in the preseason. [CP]
• The East Coast Bias Guilt Campaign begins in earnest from the Vancouver Province, as writers from the Pittsburgh Tribune Review and the New York Times are taken to task for not hoisting Daniel Sedin of the Vancouver Canucks upon the Hart Trophy throne. Also, for not including Roberto Luongo among the goalies for MVP as well. Shame on you, in-bed-before-1-a.m.'ers! SHAME! [Province]
• Meanwhile, who is the Canucks' MIP: Most Important Player? [Too Many Men]
• As for the Norris Trophy … Eric Duhatschek writes, "the 2011 winner should go the Nashville Predators' Shea Weber, in a close vote over six-time champ Nicklas Lidstrom of the Detroit Red Wings." Whoa! [Globe & Mail]
• Listen Frolik, be a little more careful with that stick. Vincent Lecavalier's face is his currency, pal. [Lightning Strikes]
• One hundred fans attend a sports bar "sit in" to prove that Winnipeg is still all excited for the return of the NHL one day. [Free Press]
• In praise of one Mr. Phil Kessel of the Toronto Maple Leafs: "Since there's no reason to believe that Kessel will do anything but get even better at scoring goals over the next few seasons, I'm more than happy to have him in town — there's no argument he makes the Leafs a better team than Seguin would at this point in his career, and there's a pretty damn good chance Kessel makes Burke look like a genius for this trade when all is said and done." [Editor In Leaf]
• Learn yourself a thing or two with Patrick Marleau facts: "Patrick Marleau has never not touched the plate at a Mexican restaurant immediately after it's served to him." [Battle of California]
• Via reader Marty Deull, it turns out Alex Ovechkin was actually the translator for last weekend's "Shirtless Summit." See what happens when you cozy up to Michelle Obama?
• In praise of Darcy Regier's restraint. [Sabres Observer]
• Willie Mitchell is up for the Masterton, via the Los Angeles Kings writers. [Kings]
• The National Hockey League Players' Association (NHLPA) today announced new five-year apparel agreements, highlighted by the continuation of its partnership with Reebok, a long-standing NHLPA licensee. In addition, the NHLPA is expanding its roster of apparel licensees to include Old Time Hockey, Knights Apparel, and Elmau & Associates.
• Big changes for XM Home Ice and the NHL Network, as the Power Play is no longer on NHL Network, NHL Live moves to 4-6 p.m. and Gord Stellick becomes a noontime on XM. [Goal Line Report]
• More puns from NHL.com. "What's for Skinner" is pretty inspired. [Royal Half]
• Finally, here's a dude that celebrated his fantasy hockey victory by mocking his league-mates with a Presidential speech. Not that he's gloating or anything.