Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• Imagine her surprise when Patrick Kane skated over, said "Hey, I'm actually pretty close with Jonathan ... what's a grad escort?" and began showing her Toews highlights on his Dell Streak ...
• Cam Cole with a scathing piece on the NHL's culture of concussions, writing about the "absence of conscience" and paraphrasing Bobby Clarke as having said, "A bodycheck used to be for separating a man from the puck. Now, the hitter is a missile, and the puck is irrelevant." [Vancouver Sun]
• In the face of growing speculation/wondering aloud from the media about Sidney Crosby playing again this season, Pittsburgh Penguins coach Dan Bylsma said about shutting him down, "That really has not been a topic of conversation or a thought." [Tribune Review]
• Without Sid or Evgeni Malkin in the lineup as the trade deadline approaches, how on earth should Ray Shero handle adding talent to the team? [FanHouse]
• Darren Dreger hypothesizes that Stephen Weiss from the Florida Panthers and Devin Setoguchi from the San Jose Sharks are "examples" of the type of players Shero could go for. He then hypothesizes that Alex Goligoski would be the type of bounty for Setoguchi. [TSN]
• NBC's Penguins/Capitals numbers on Super Bowl Sunday were down 38 percent from the previous season; keep in mind the D.C. market was "snowed in" in 2010. [Puck The Media]
• Pundays Rule. [The Royal Half]
• The New York Rangers sniffed around Sheldon Souray, ended up with a clothespin on their noses, and will not make a waiver play for the exiled Edmonton Oilers D-man. [Blueshirts Banter]
• Anytime the media wants to stop trafficking in Brad Richards trade rumors, Dallas Stars fans are ready. [Defending Big D]
• The Florida Panthers ticket department is at it again: Through Feb. 16 they're running a "Name Your Benefit" campaign in which season-ticket renewing fans "can request their dream benefit." No, they don't specify what the hell that means. Yes, we imagine the words "Ice Girls" and "weekly car washes during the summer" would be in play. [Panthers]
• While discussing Peter Forsberg's no-movement clause, Adrian Dater got candid about the current state of the Colorado Avalanche: "They can't score a goal. They can't ever keep a team ever to under three goals. Their defense is awful. The goaltending has gone bust. They are pathetically easy to play against, physically. A bunch of their bright young forwards look like they've lost all their confidence. Joe Sacco is yanking guys in and out of the lineup, yanking guys in and out of Lake Erie, and nothing is working." [All Things Avs]
• "Is Peter Forsberg coming back to have a swan song OR is Foppa hoping his return will be a genuine catalyst to propel Colorado into the playoffs?" [Mile High Hockey]
• Another "tell us how you really feel" column from Ken Campbell, on Phil Kessel of the Toronto Maple Leafs: "The Leafs just have to be thrilled that the player in which they placed so much hope, money and term of contract is so utterly willing to pack it in." [THN]
• Attempting to develop a blueprint for an Ottawa Senators rebuild. Surprisingly, this is not just an image of a building exploding. [Sens Shot]
• Did you follow Matt Carle on Twitter for charity's sake? Some people don't like you then. [Scarlett Ice]
• Darren Eliot: "By my count, only five (Oilers, Islanders, Devils, Maple Leafs, and Senators) cannot realistically hold postseason aspirations at this point." [SI]
• The question asked by the Vancouver media and Kukla: Was this a slew foot?
• Despite looking much, much, much worse, it appears defenseman Keith Ballard might only be on the shelf for 2-4 weeks (and closer to four) for the Vancouver Canucks. [Nucks Misconduct]
• The San Jose Sharks visit the National Archives in D.C., get asked by a tour guide, "Do you dislike Sidney Crosby as much as I do?" Yeah, totally appropriate given the number of Canadian Olympians on the roster, no? [WaPo]
• NOT HOCKEY: It never ceases to amaze me how a journalist's hard work is treated as "public domain" by other media. Cite your sources, people. [Business Insider]
• Antero Niittymaki returns for the San Jose Sharks Tuesday night against the Caps. [Sharks]
• Alex Semin is back for the Capitals against the Sharks. [Capitals Insider]
• A tribute to Nate Ewell, friend of the blog and the Washington Capitals media relations guru, who is attending his last game with the team Tuesday night. Fair thee well, oh guy who let me pick the Three Stars. [OFB]
• Finally, Brett Hull vs. Jeremy Roenick on "Donald J. Trump's Fabulous World of Golf." Spoiler: Hull scores with a skate in the rough and Roenick cries about never having won the U.S. Open.