Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in future installment.
Jersey Fouls don't have an expiration date. They're the stench that keeps on stinking. Here's one submitted by reader Neil Ellis Shafton that's from Game 3 of the 2010 Stanley Cup Playoff quarterfinals between the Vancouver Canucks and Los Angeles Kings:
We gave this guy so much grief, I actually felt sorry for him for a few seconds, but then went back to heckling him. After a few comments about this handmade Vancouver Canucks away sweater, the artist who made this homemade Jersey Foul claimed he couldn't find a Canucks sweater in Los Angeles.
This Canuck fan was sitting in the front row, just behind the LA Kings penalty box, so his seat was almost as bad as his wardrobe.
This was a thermal shirt drawn with colored markers, which a pre-schooler probably could have colored better.
Yes he did include the "Free Willy" native (Inuit) and C design, which would appear on a real Vancouver sweater. As you can see, this fashion faux no no was made worse by a blue dress shirt underneath, which he freed the blue collar.
Los Angeles won the game 5-3, which prompted me to do a parody of the MasterCard add campaign:
Front Row Tickets to a Stanley Cup game $200.00
Homemade hockey jersey of your team: $25.00
Watching your team beat worse than your homemade jersey? Priceless!
Dang, yo.
Now, giggles aside, a legit question: Isn't there something righteous about creating your own jersey for a game because you couldn't locate one? Or is it condemnable because this fan should always have a sweater at the ready for cases like these?
What say you?
(Coming Up: Wayne Gretzky Fouls that will anger in a significant manner; a Devils spelling fail; Yzerman Foul in an unlikely place; someone gave Luongo the 'C' again'; an Irish Russian.)
And here … we … go.
J.D. with a fresh Jersey Foul from last night's New Jersey Devils' win over the Montreal Canadiens. The day he discovers this Foul, he's going to want to curl up and die.
Er, what now? From reader Peter Santellan:
This was taken at an exhibition game between the Pittsburgh Penguins and Los Angeles Kings in Kansas City on September 27. There were many people who wore jerseys of teams that weren't even playing, but this one was the most egregious of the bunch. You can't see the front, but there is a captain's C on the upper left of the jersey. Correct me if I'm wrong, but goaltenders never wear the C on their jersey, even if they are the captain.
As Peter points out, that's the Foul cherry on top of the Foul sundae that is a Flying V Roberto Luongo sweater.
We've had Steve Yzerman jerseys down in Tampa Bay, which are tricky: The man is the GM of the team but never played for the team. This one is a little easier to call, and a little weirder. From John Evans:
At the season opener for the Norfolk Admirals, I spotted a couple that screamed 'foul'. Sorry it's not the greatest picture but they were less than receptive to my request for a picture, so I worked with what I could.
The lady on the right has the name covered by her hair, by she had a "Yzerman 19" jersey for the Norfolk Admirals. The Admirals of course being the farm team of the Tampa Bay Lightning, which Yzerman is the GM. Considering I showed up to the game in a Yzerman Red Wings Jersey, I declared this unacceptable, given Yzerman's never having played for the Admirals, and having only been GM of Tampa for a year. He only played for one team, his number only belongs with one team, but perhaps my loyalty to Detroit makes me a bit sensitive to such blasphemy.
The gentleman on the left, however, should be a foul without a doubt. "John's Tax Service 75" is not cool. I know there's many exceptions clauses, but I'm almost positive no such clause exists for the advertisement of one's business. Even those bad boys goofs in San Jose know to wear a T-shirt rather than a jersey.
Well, the family that Fouls together … maybe they're just trying to symbolize the franchise's transition from Len Barrie to Jeff Vinik.
NO! No. No. No. NO! From Robert Eisenberg:
I have a jersey foul I thought you'd enjoy. This comes from this year's Canada Day celebration in Trafalgar Square in London, UK. My friends and I asked the girl about it (she WAS Canadian) and she said it's her dream for her favourite player to play on her favourite team.
We were all in shock.
As are we, especially since Sam Gagner now owns the No. 8 for the Oilers after Thursday night and will now retire an Oiler after they build a statue to him in front of the Gretzky one. (We need to really stop reading Tweets from TSN and CBC).
This one from @altereg0 on ye olde Twitter was interesting from a geek perspective. Total Foul, for sure, but is this a reference to Yoda surviving the Emperor's Order 66 to wipe out the Jedi? Or some dude nicknamed Yoda that used to haul a trailer down Route 66?
Reader Tom Pavlik has his suspicions about this jersey:
"Personal name, added an "ov" to make it more Russian and although it isn't visible in the shot, also made himself captain."
Now that you mention it, O'Brienov doesn't really seem like an actual Russian name, but does sound like someone we'd like to drink with.
Reader Jeff Olin has a problem with this Los Angeles Kings Wayne Gretzky jersey:
"The first, I always have a major problem with. I've seen this dude at Staples Center. Not only do we have Gretzky on the "Forum Blue and Gold" era (which, he obviously never wore)...it's also a new RBK throwback! That's a free train-ride to Double Fail Town."
Double Fail Town sounds like a sad place.
Surely this is the worst Wayne Gretzky Foul we'll have today. Oh wait …
Via reader M.H.C., this affront of all that is good and pure about hockey jerseys was also worn over a Boston Bruins T-shirt.
Surely this is the worst Wayne Gretzky Foul we'll have today. Oh wait …
DJ Spahr explains what the hell this is:
"While at Frozen Fury in Vegas, I saw this… Nothing says "NHL" like a cropped, slim-fit, short-sleeved Gretzky jersey on a dude. WTF?!"
Does Sean Avery do any freelance fashion judging, or just on "Project Runway"? Because we need a ruling.