Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• Excuse me, Rebecca Black of the so-terrible-that-it-has-inspired-genius-in-others song "Friday," but it appears you've been KESLURKED. Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun …
• Sidney Crosby skates again for the Pittsburgh Penguins but is completely overshadowed by the unexpected return of Mr. Hillary Duff to the ice. [Pensburgh]
• We really need Steven Stamkos to speak out more on the issues. The Tampa Bay Lightning star on headshots: "You know what you are doing when you hit a guy, and a lot of people say it's a fast paced game and for an outsider, it is fast. But for us it does slow down a little bit and you do have that split-second to realize what you are doing. Everyone is accountable whether you are getting hit or you are the one enforcing the hit." [Bolts Report]
• Jacques Martin on Max Pacioretty being able to work out again in 3-5 weeks: "It's encouraging that he'll be able to start his training in a short time and should be able to play in the playoffs." [NHL]
• The Brendan Shanahan R&D camp will return this summer, with plans to test out a new net with red mesh and an audio communication system for refs on the ice. [Dreger]
• You know, Glendale's mayor making noise about minor league alternatives for the Jobing.com Arena really doesn't inspire much confidence about the future of the Phoenix Coyotes. [TSN]
• Peter Adler and the case against Winnipeg getting another NHL team: "Has the change been significant enough to create a new group of entrepreneurs rich enough to maintain an NHL team in Winnipeg? Yes? Name them." This guy seems like he can rub two nickels together, if he's interested. [Edmonton Journal]
• Loui Eriksson's out for Thursday night's game against the Chicago Blackhawks with an, ahem, "upper body injury." [ESPN Dallas]
• Dany Heatley on his suspension for the San Jose Sharks, saying he felt he got Steve Ott in the chest instead of the head. [Brodie Brazil]
• Blades of Teal makes the case for Steve Ott to win the Lady Byng: "It is the height of hypocrisy for a multiple-suspensioned Steve Ott to be crying foul for being on the receiving end of questionable hits after delivering so many. I would just as soon take morality lessons from The Situation." [Blades of Teal]
• Interesting Washington Capitals stat: They've had more minutes played by rookies than any other team in the NHL this season, including Edmonton. John Carlson and Michal Neuvirth help, of course. [Japers' Rink]
• Florida Panthers blog makes the case against the 'Cats tanking at the end of the season for a higher draft pick. [The Rat Trick]
• The Panthers will face J.S. Giguere Thursday night when the Toronto Maple Leafs come to town. [QMI]
• With all five conferences in Division I college hockey hosting their conference tournaments this weekend, an NHL team-by-team guide to where fans can catch their favorite team's prospects in action. [College Hockey, Inc.]
• Might Craig Anderson not be the goalie the Ottawa Senators felt he was immediately after the Avalanche trade? [Senshot]
• Scott Arniel on the Brad Marchand hit to R.J. Umberger's head, before Thursday's suspension: "I said to Scott [Howson], put a minimum in. You know automatically that if you did something that was reviewable, something that the league thinks is viscious, it's automatic. Whether that's 2 games, 3 games, whatever it is. And there's no grey area. Everybody know's that if you do that as a player, you know that you're going to sit for however many games. If the player knows the punishment, sometimes they won't do the crime." [The Hockey Writers]
• In the endless digital ink spilled over concussions and player safety, we'll admit this is some of the weirdest crap we've come across. [Pegasus News]
• Why the New York Rangers are a playoff team. And it's not just the phrase "by default and a lot of white space. [Sportsology]
• Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Chris Pronger on his injury and rehab, to a reporter: "I feel great. I just finished a workout and I feel probably a little better than you in your sprinting days." [Broad Street Hockey]
• Congrats to Ray Emery for getting the win Wednesday night for the Anaheim Ducks, his first since last February. [Ducks Blog]
• Vancouver Canucks president and general manager Mike Gillis announced Thursday that right wing Victor Oreskovich has been recalled from the Manitoba Moose of the AHL. [Canucks]
• "Why Dave Checketts Can Kiss My Ass." [St. Louis Game Time, and a strong language warning]
• Finally, the NHL's St. Patrick's Day greeting to the fans.