Last week, we asked you to submit poetry that honored the rookie artistry (and perilous overhyping) of Edmonton Oilers rookie Ryan Nugent-Hopkins.
Our first collection of entries was impressive; this second batch raises the bar, including this video reading submitted by Katy Webb, who writes "Our YouTube entry, kind sir …a very much last-ditch effort at some Hoppy swag."
Our "For The Love Of Nuge: The Ryan Nugent-Hopkins Poetry Slam" contest ended on Wednesday. The good folks at Panini America have produced Ryan Nugent-Hopkins's first NHL rookie card. First prize in the poetry contest: An autographed rookie card. We're also giving away five boxes of Panini hockey cards to the runners-up.
The winners will be announced on the Panini American Facebook page during the day, and we'll list them in tonight's Puck Previews as well. So head over to that page and "like" it.
And now, the latest and greatest collection of Nugent-Hopkins lyrics.
And here … we … go.
RNH
R is for rookie, top of his class
N is number 1, the oilers could not pass
H is for hockey, the game played by this bad ass!
- Galelinlim
• • •
There once was a boy with three last names.
He would probably be at the top of the game.
Except he plays for the Oilers of Edmonton
so no one really gets to see this Native Son
I think if you stare at him for too long
his face makes him look like the kid from Freaks & Geeks who played Pong
He is only 18, so hopefully he'll grow into his looks
Hopefully unlike the last wunderkid for the Oilers he doesn't become a crook
(gambling is a crime, even if it's mostly just your wife with the debt
but let's not bring up the Gretzky name and get Edmontoners upset)
Anyway, I hope the boy with three last names does well on many different levels
except, of course, when the Oilers play my Devils
--Sarah Knoblauch
• • •
(Here's a poem inspired by a poet who also has three names)
so much depends
upon
a blue and orange
center
glistening with
sweat
and barely through
puberty
And if you will accept a short scripture as poetry I offer this:
In between the first and second period, God spoke to Canada.
And God said, "Behold, the Great One hath been re-born. Did I not prophesy it so?"
And God's sidekick said, "It is good."
And it came to pass that the heavenly chorus sang from the broadcast booth,
"Kevin Lowe hath performed a miracle!
For unto us a child is given. And he shall save us. Hallelujah!"
And those who had been cast out in the frozen tundra of the True North
Beheld and believed, and their broken hearts were healed.
And they thanked the Evil Spirit, whose promise had been fulfilled,
That the first shall pick last and the last shall pick first.
Worlds without end, amen.
-- Mike Haire, Abbotsford
• • •
The Oilers aren't red,
They are copper and blue.
The Nuge will bring greatness
Where it is long overdue
- Frank Grimes
• • •
The Ballad of Ryan Nugent-Hopkins (sing it in your head!)
Gather 'round the fire-place to hear a tale of yore
A leader on the frozen ice, like Yzerman and Orr.
A young man from Burnaby who had a destiny,
To save a team from falling to complete obscurity.
The people of Edmonton were crying tears of glee,
When Ryan Nugent-Hopkins was drafted on T.V.
The Red Deer Rebel was on his way to the land of Oil,
To help the team propel itself from the basement soil!
Now o'er the years, despite the fears, and Ryan's tender age,
The boy had overcome the odds to claim the center stage.
A provincial champ, a golden medal, yes, he had them all,
But the NHL were something else, and many took a fall.
He was too young, they often said, before he hit the ice,
But in his first game he scored with a shot that was precise.
He scored a hat trick early on during his rookie year,
And just like that the Oilers felt they had nothing to fear.
Young Ryan from Burnaby is the hero the Oil deserve,
Echoes of their dynasty that we can all observe.
The foundation of a mighty team is there in Edmonton,
Perhaps someday the "Nuge" they say will be their cap-i-tain.
With Taylor Hall and Eberle, Paajarvi and Omark,
Thus far the kids in Oiler blue play with quite a spark.
With Khabibulin in the goal the team still has a chance,
To get back in to the playoffs, to get back in the dance.
So here we are at the end of the song, waiting for results
Will Nugent-Hopkins save the day, will it end with cruel insults?
I have to say I hope the kid has a long career,
But to the kid from Burnaby I will raise by beer!
The tale is done, the song is song, young Ryan saves the day,
The kid is quite the scorer and soon the fans will say:
"The Oilers have come to town, the kids who like to score,
The ones with all the fancy moves who leave you wanting more."
-- PG Marsh
• • •
(Submitted by Nicole Werner)
• • •
There was a time when hope was dim
Losses numb to their own sting
Then all the sudden we stopped a-cryin'
Thanks to a couple guys named Ryan
Both heroes in their own right
Both present and future they made bright
They see the lamp and make it light
The sun they rose after a long, dark night
Right when our hopes were a-droppin
In came a Smytty and a Hopkins
A veteran garbage man
To lead us to the promised land
And to help wipe the slate
A top line centre, the first since Weight
No Oates, No Nedved, No Dopita
A young man whose the real deal
To leave Mike Comrie in the dust
The one to fill a vacant must
They call him Ryan Nugent Hopkins
Heaven sent to stop the bleeding
After 5 years of post game sobbing
Now we go where he is leading
Guided by the Shepard Smyth
RNH does aim to please us
One to love and to watch grow
A brand new Oiler Jesus
Who possesses skills so fine
Shadows of one Ninety Nine
With Ebs and Hall riding wing
Who knows what fortune three kings will bring
Smyth reunites with Horcs and Hemmer
Suddenly, a team is better
Ryan Jones to bring the grind
To a squad filled to the brim with skill
Paajarvi and Gagner on your third line?
And Dubnyk playing second fiddle
Backing up a wily Russian
Who gained focus behind bars
After drinking tons of vodka
And racing bad ass cars
Though there will be growing pains
I swear, my friends, they'll be in vein
We know that Heatley and Chris Pronger
Couldn't have been any wronger
Oh no, Loyal Oilites, we never have been stronger
-- Dustin Allen, Edmonton.
• • •
Nuge made ladies panties drop
he never got a ticket from a cop
as long as the Oilers won
he could have lots of fun
and no one would tell him to stop
- Graham Ratliff
A Love Poem from Ron MacLean to RNH
When the Oil won the lottery, I felt in my heart
Of something special, this would be the start
The first time I saw you, the butterflies fluttered
Those rosy red cheeks, a face smooth as butter
I plug you on the air every time I can
Declaring to Hockey Nation you're my new man
I bought your jersey first, when you played for Red Deer
A new star was born, to me this was clear
All night I watch your highlights, some of them are just scary
My wife asks "What's wrong Ron? Is it that dream with Cherry?"
I swear Eberle and Hall mean nothing to me
As for Paajarvi, send him back to peewee
Your skating is slick; you've got a shot and a half
Is it too much to ask for an autograph?
The haters tell me it's too early to call
But I guarantee you'll end up in the Hall
Finally I ask, with the utmost humility
Can we grab dinner sometime, or go to a movie?
- Chris Edmondstone
• • •
Finally, here's Mike Mireau. He wrote a poem. And presented it in a way that preys on our weaknesses. Jerk.
