Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• We tweeted this last night but it deserves a wider audience, as there was a rare boomerang spit attack on Anaheim Ducks goalie Jonas Hiller. That is one magic loogie.
• The fan who threw a banana at Wayne Simmonds is "mortified" that his attempt to, ahem, prevent the winning goal in a preseason game by tossing a piece of fruit on the ice has been characterized as "racist" when in reality it's just completely, utterly and hopelessly [expletive] stupid. [AP]
• The Chicago Blackhawks' wounded: Ben Smith is day-to-day with what's listed as a concussion; Viktor Stalberg could be out three weeks with a leg injury; Dave Bolland is day-to-day with a non-concussion upper body injury. [Sun Times]
• Brendan Smith is having a hearing today with the NHL regarding his hit on Ben Smith. Again, it should be a fascinating one: Elbow? Shoulder? Did Brendan Smith concuss a player that beat him or did Ben Smith put himself in a vulnerable spot? [Dreger]
• Patrick Kane is now on Twitter and the good folks at Blackhawks Downlow have offered the unofficial Patrick Kane tweet translation guide. [Blackhawks DL]
• Minnesota Wild GM Chuck Fletcher was the assistant GM for the Pittsburgh Penguins. Coach Mike Yeo was an assistant coach with the Penguins. The Penguins placed 25-year-old winger Nick Johnson on waivers; he's now a member of the Minnesota Wild. Insider trading! [Star Tribune]
• Ryan Kesler Kes-lurked his own interview. [PitB]
• The San Jose Sharks are undefeated. In the preseason. Obviously, we just hand them the Cup, right? Says Ryane Clowe, pooper of parties: "I remember the year I made it out of training camp; we were undefeated in preseason, then had a terrible start. You don't bring too much into it, but I'm sure the coaches are looking at how the team is playing and clicking pretty early, which is good." [CSN Bay Area]
• Nate Thompson of the Tampa Bay Lightning on watching the Red Sox and Orioles last night on RDS: "That was the best baseball I've ever watched in French my whole entire life." [Tampa Tribune]
• Really nice work by Katie Baker putting together a massive Sidney Crosby injury timeline, from the hits to photos with Meadow Soprano to being called a Ferrari. [Grantland, via reader 'pensfan1982']
• Variable pricing for the New Jersey Devils was always kind of a no-brainer when 50-percent of the crowd for certain games are Rangers and Flyers fans. [Bergen Record]
• Leahy found this last night: The story of "Dallas Dave," a.k.a. a fake insider created by some hockey fans that somehow became a legit source for everyone from Bob McKenzie to Eklund. Check out the sneaky "time stamping" tricks they used to pull off the ruse. [Dallas Dave Revealed]
• Eventual Florida Panthers starting goalie Jacob Markstrom has won the backup job with Scott Clemmensen on the mend. [On Frozen Pond]
• Is the Ottawa Senators' defense destined for failure or do the state show they could be better? [The 6th Sens]
• Are the Dallas Stars doomed without Brad Richards on the roster? [Pegasus News]
• Smart money is that Ryan Johansen will make the cut for the Columbus Blue Jackets this season. [The Cannon]
• Complete breakdown of the Carolina Hurricanes cuts. [Canes Country]
• Joel Ward gets chirped by the Nashville Predators as he makes his return as a Washington Capital. [Tennessean]
• International rock legends Bachman & Turner, platinum-selling rockers Three Days Grace and Winnipeg-born rock band Inward Eye will perform as part of the 2011 Molson Canadian NHL Face-Off™ season-opening hockey and entertainment festival at "The Forks" in Winnipeg, October 6, the National Hockey League announced today. Portions of the musical performances will air on CBC, VERSUS and NHL Network, starting at 6:30 p.m. ET.
• Glenn Healy on the Shanabans: "The standard of enforcement has been set extremely high, which has to be the mandate of those at the league office, and I'm talking about those who are much further up the food chain than Brendan. Is this what all the stakeholders in the game expected when they were advocating changes to our game this summer?" [CBC]
• The Washington Capitals sign Jason Chimera to a 2-year extension with $3.5 million. "It was nice that they showed some confidence in me to come to me and ask me if I wanted something." [Washington Times]
• Tough break for Nazim Kadri: He's out up to a month with a knee injury suffered in the Toronto Maple Leafs' preseason game against the Ottawa Senators. [Slam Sports]
• The Philadelphia Flyers place Michael Leighton on waivers again. [Broad Street Hockey]
• Chris Pronger makes his preseason debut against the Devils tonight and expects to be in the lineup for opening night next Thursday. [Philly.com]
• Over 37,000 people have signed a petition asking the NHL to fine Wayne Simmonds for allegedly using a gay slur against Sean Avery. [change.org]
• The 20 breakout performers from last season; New York Islanders fans should dig No. 2. [Polished Puck Press]
• Finally, via Empty Netters, an inside look at the demolition of the Igloo. We kept waiting to see the body of a dead terrorist that Van Damme off'd … alas, still waiting.
