Trending Topics is a column that looks at the week in hockey according to Twitter. If you're only going to comment to say how stupid Twitter is, why not just go have a good cry for the slow, sad death of your dear internet instead?
As of tomorrow, we will have gone two whole months without seeing Sidney Crosby play a game of hockey, and we will have been far worse off for it.
When Crosby was first accidentally rocked by David Steckel in the Winter Classic, there was concern. When Victor Hedman bounced his head off the glass, there was outright worry.
And now, even though the question is asked of Pittsburgh Penguins Coach Dan Bylsma and GM Ray Shero and the peanut vendors at the Consol Energy Center constantly (as Nick Cotsonika pointed out the other day), there's still no timetable for a return to even light workouts.
Still symptoms. Still uncertainty.
Thing is, that's how it goes with concussions. There was talk during Wednesday night's game against the Toronto Maple Leafs that Crosby has a "spring in his step" these days. That Sid's all smiles lately.
But they're taking the right tack with him. Don't rush him back - hockey's littered with cautionary tales of concussions, with guys like Marc Savard serving as prime examples of what not to do in a situation like this ever ever ever - and just let him be.
Everyone else though? Not so much.
There's a lot of watch-checking going on right now, plenty of expectant foot-tapping. People are starting to wonder when he'll be back. Some absolute idiots are even starting to say he's milking it, that others have returned from concussions more quickly. And sad though it may be, the media's getting impatient too.
(Coming Up: TSN debuts a new feature that's an old feature on a Winnipeg Jets site; helping out Devin Setoguchi; and your Pearls of BizNasty.)
It's not that Sid Crosby shouldn't be the topic of conversation, especially during Penguins games when we watch guys like Jordan Staal and Mark Letestu run pivot on the power play. Pittsburgh's just 11-9-4 without him in the lineup; and not scoring a ton of goals, as can be expected when your two top-flight centers are out. Hell, Crosby's still ahead of the Pens' next leading scorer by something like 20 points despite missing more than a quarter of the season.
So yeah, Pittsburgh needs Crosby back. So does the League as a whole, for that matter. But if they were smart, the Penguins would trade a playoff appearance, let alone a deep, long run, for a guaranteed healthy Crosby.
We saw Savard back for that Bruins playoff run (because they NEEDED him!) well before he was ready, and look how that turned out. He missed the first two months of the season, played 25 games, got his bell rung again and now might never play in the NHL again.
It would be especially horrible for that to happen to Crosby as well. Hopefully he's done for the year if that's what he needs, and if it's necessary for him to take time off come the fall, then with any luck he'll do that too.
It's easy to see why everyone wants him back. But until got those storm clouds swirling around in his head finally lift, there's no need for a player this used to the limelight to be anywhere but a dark, quiet room.
How 'bout them Winnipeg Jets?
The media in Canada really really really fetishizes the idea of a seventh Canadian team in the National Hockey League, and they've been circling the dying carcasses of the Atlanta Thrashers and Phoenix Coyotes like buzzards for years.
This week, it got just a bit more ludicrous when TSN - the Canadian equivalent of ESPN, who therefore should try to be at least somewhat rational and unbiased about this type of thing - took the increasingly contentious hearings about keeping the Coyotes in Glendale as a cue to unveil its Jets Meter.
Yup, the most ubiquitous and influencial sports network in Canada is actively rooting for the return of the Winnipeg Jets at the expense of an existing franchise.
Oh sorry, it's showing its own "ongoing take on how close the long-held dream is to reaching fruition in 2011-12." That wording isn't biased at all.
Long-held by whom, you ask? Well obviously people who nostalgize things that were not nearly as good as they'd like to believe they remember. And also Winnipeggers. Winnipeggers like Darren Ford, who, as pointed out by Ottawa Citizen beat reporter James Gordon, has been running JetsOwner.com since 2003.
And look at the top of the page. A Jet-O-Meter. Which currently sets the probability of an NHL return at 96 percent. A bit higher than TSN's estimate of around 12 percent.
No word on what the criteria is for either of their measurements. Another fake Balsillie Twitter account? Up four notches. Shane Doan looks wistfully at a map of Canada? Six, for sure. Anyone anywhere in Atalanta drinks a Molson? Double digits no problem. Steve Nash? Push.
The best part is going to be when no one ever moves their NHL team to Winnipeg and this gets quietly swept under the rug as though it never existed.
What Jets Meter?
Help Devin Setoguchi out
Much like Matt Carle and Ryan Jones and about half the St. Louis Blues before him, Devin Setoguchi has vowed to donate $5,000 to a cancer charity if he gets to 15,000 followers by March 15. As of this writing, he was a little over 9,800.
And remember, it's not in any way selfish. So give him a hand, help a charity get free money.
Pearls of Biz-dom
We all know that there isn't a better Twitter account out there than that of Paul Bissonnette. So why not find his best bit of advice on love, life and lappers from the last week?
BizNasty on the Coyotes' uncertain future:
"Wonder if the goldschlager group will allow hulsizer to buy the yotes to keep them in AZ?"
If you've got something for Trending Topics, holla at Lambert on Twitter or via e-mail. He'll even credit you so you get a thousand followers in one day and you'll become the most popular person on the Internet! You can also visit his blog if you're so inclined.