The seminal 1996 Adam Sandler film "Happy Gilmore" explored many pertinent topics, but primarily was a case study in the application of one set of athletic skills onto another competitive sport.
In this case, having a psychotic former hockey play hit a golf ball with a slapshot in order to save his grandmother's house.
At times, the film comes dangerously close to offering a mutant hybrid of the two sports, a sort of "Hockey Golf" that would rival "BASEketball" as the greatest cinematic sports mashups ever. Alas, it never rises to that level of mania; but that doesn't mean Hockey Golf doesn't exist — even if involves a clown's mouth.
Coming up, the top 8 hockey mashups with other sports and recreation, in which the Greatest Sport In The History of Mankind (tm, Canada) is combined with another activity to create a new sport — some of which are sublime, all of which are ridiculous.
8. Hockey Meets Battlebots
Taken at Robogames 2011, these radio-controlled 'bots provided more hitting in two minutes than we've seen in the last 10 NHL All-Star Games combined. We eagerly await the day in which they're given artificial intelligence, become sentient and develop a desire to actually put the puck in the net.
This hockey hybrid would have been helped immeasurably by the presence of tiny flame throwers and/or giant metal hatchets on each competitor.
7. Hockey Meets Basketball
The NBA Slam Dunk Contest has been running since 1984, and not a single player has ever brought out a hockey stick for an attempt. Not even that Canadian one. For shame!
This is clearly the most exciting moment of hockey-meets-basketball since the late Manute Bol laced'em up with the Indianapolis Blades.
6. Hockey Meets Longboard Skating
Lots to love here. There's lots of hitting, and sometimes hitting into a chain-link fence, which appeals to the old-school wrestling fan in all of us. (Finally, a hockey league made for Mick Foley.)
It's a sport that can be played in "non-traditional" U.S. markets. It might become an X-Games event one day, getting hockey back on ESPN in some form. And, perhaps most of all, the puck is a can of something you shot-gunned before the game. Which helps keep down equipment costs.
5. Hockey Meets Travel Luggage
And you thought your favorite NHL player had baggage …
Luggage hockey is — spoiler warning — hockey played with luggage instead of sticks. Samsonite created the game for its ad campaign that highlights the durability of its products. (Please recall some of the junior execs on "Mad Men" creating Luggage Football when pitching a Joe Namath-led Samsonite campaign to Don Draper last season.)
It's a fun event; alas, no game has even started on time, as every player's equipment has to go through a TSA X-Ray machine. Hockey players frequently forget to pack their liquid toiletries in small Ziploc bags.
4. Hockey Meets Segway Riding
OK, so maybe the Segway isn't going to change the way we build cities around the planet. That doesn't mean it should be relegated to tourist trips down the Riverwalk in San Antonio, however. As you can see, Segway Hockey is a fast-paced and frequently chaotic game.
Best of all: By completely eliminating the athletic components of hockey, it's perfectly set up for a Gordie Howe comeback at age 83.
3. Hockey Meets Putt-Putt
You know what mini-golf is missing? Defense. And not just the kind of predictable defense you get from a windmill or a clown's mouth; we're talking full-on protection of the goal by your opponent.
Besides, after you've hit the ball for the fifth time on a par-2 in putt-putt, you know you're going to stickhandle the ball into the hole on the sixth try. Everybody does it.
2. Hockey Meets Demolition Derby
The most famous example of Car Hockey came from "Top Gear" in the U.K., which took the Suzuki Swift on the ice for some night puck. Here in the U.S., we've taken that idea to its logical next step: Demolition Derby Car Hockey, in which beat-up autos push around a monster truck tire at a county fair.
This is what the NHL would look like if every team was made up of Hal Gills.
And finally ..
1. Hockey Meets Free Diving In Frozen Water
Every year, the sport of Underwater Hockey is "discovered" by some publication or website, even if it's so well-known that there's an official USA Underwater Hockey website.
Significantly less famous and significantly more perilous: Extreme Underwater Ice Hockey, in which free divers play upside down under a frozen pond rink without an oxygen tank. Which is pretty incredible.
Our only question: If there's a minor penalty called, does the player have to hold his breath in a shark cage for 2 minutes?