BOSTON — A Vancouver Canucks fan who goes by the handle "Artem Chubarov" (no relation) wanted some advice over the weekend:
"As a New Jersey Devils fan, any pointers for how to deal with rooting for a reviled team? New to Canucks fans, many aren't handling it well."
As so many other readers point out on a daily basis, there are few subjects on which I can claim an expertise — but consider rooting for a reviled team one of the few.
The Canucks may be the team of biters and divers and underachievers and whiners and cheap-shot artists and Max Lapierre.
Call me when their haters can claim they KILLED HOCKEY.
Which is what Devils fans had to deal with for roughly a decade.
Of course, that's the major difference: Hatred of the Devils was stylistic; hatred of the Canucks seems focused on the individual. Which isn't to say that the Devils didn't have their share of universally loathed creatures; did I mention Claude Lemieux was the guiding light to the 1995 Stanley Cup?
The Vancouver Canucks could win the Stanley Cup on Monday night in Game 6 against the Boston Bruins. They have been called "the most hated team in hockey." Which is a notion that's been reinforced here and here and here and here and especially here.
(That's why the media's assumption that Canadians would have a Pavlovian admiration for this Canucks team was always utter B.S. First, because Canadians only care about "reclaiming the Stanley Cup for Canada" when there is a Bettman expansion team on the other side of the bracket threatening to turn it into a spittoon; second, because if the Cup is going back to Canada, every fan wants his or her team to do it and not the other guys; and third, because most NHL fans in Canada generally loathe the Canucks, and can't swallow the bile to back them. )
Here's a handy guide for Canucks fans on how to deal with the haters, now and going forward.
1. Convince Yourself That Winning At All Costs Is Still Winning
I was speaking with another writer Sunday night at a Bostonian watering hole, and he brought up a salient point about the kind of champion the Chicago Blackhawks were ("honorable," in his estimation) and the kind of champion the Canucks would be (that would be "dishonorable").
Whether or not you agree with the premise, there is a notion of winning the "right" way or the "wrong" way. Is that a Canadian fan ethos? Perhaps, but only for the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
In international play, it's expected that Bobby Clarke is going to chop down Russians like a lumberjack, because international play is a war, and in a war there are casualties. The Stanley Cup Playoffs are seen as a war of attrition, but ultimately as a sporting competition, which means one in which sportsmanship is a cherished virtue.
As a fan of a "dishonorable" team, you simply have to get into the mindset that winning is ultimately the only concern, and that everything else is noise. Chris Pronger stealing a game puck isn't bush league, it's a tactic. Canucks players hitting the deck like 1950s schoolchildren during a nuke drill aren't cheap dives, they're attempts to draw a penalty by any means necessary.
It isn't easy to embrace "win at all costs"; lord knows I'd have rather watched a decade of firewagon hockey than Devils players clogging the neutral zone like hair in a drain. But your team is what it is, so suck it up and …
2. Fight Back
You know how politicians have a collection of canned answers and ready-at-the-lip stats that they dip into during every debate? So did Devils fans during the Trap Years.
We had to. When you're maligned from every angle, you've gotta be ready to defend the system ("It produces a startling amount of offense!") or the personnel ("Scotty would injure anyone if they just kept their heads up!") or the management ("Mobbed up? Oh, c'mon, you've seen 'The Godfather' too many times …").
So don't simply accept that your team is a collection of scurrilous villains — explain why their behavior works.
3. That Said, Realize There Are No Redeeming Qualities for Your Villains
How many times has the Boston media written about Alex Burrows?
How many times has the Boston media written about Alex Burrows and mentioned Luc Bourdon?
Yeah, not many.
Partially, this is because Alex Burrows is seen as the type of player who is irredeemable. Partially, this is because mentioning that a player is more than the sum of his bites doesn't fit the narrative.
I saw the same thing with Claude Lemieux in 1995. He scored 13 goals in that Cup run, won the Conn Smythe, had stories written about his personal journey but still was seen as a gutless puke by half the hockey world.
Your players could nurse sick kittens back to health on their off-days and it won't matter. The die is cast.
4. Realize There Is No "Like" Button
Everyone is familiar with the "LIKE" button on Facebook. It doesn't matter if you actually "like" something or not; if you want others to read it, then you're going to "LIKE" it on Facebook.
There is no "LIKE" button for the Canucks. There's always going to be a caveat, a counterbalance; "Oh, I can respect how well Kesler played against Nashville but that's because the Sedins [expletive] disappeared those Swedish chokers!"
See?
So at best, people are going to hit the "BEGRUDGING RESPECT" or "SWALLOW THE BILE FOR A MOMENT OF BRIEF PRAISE" button. You're just going to have to accept that accolades won't be forthcoming from the haters.
And by "you" I mean "Roberto."
5. Prepare For The Heel Turn
One of the hidden benefits of cheering for a reviled team is that once that collection of players has worn out its welcome, you can have the freeing catharsis of flipping sides, joining the majority and decrying the behavior of these dastardly miscreants.
"I never liked ________ anyway! Enjoy your UFA riches, bitches."
6. Finally, Understand Where All The Hate Is Coming From
Jealousy. Resentment. A feeling that no matter how much they've earned it, your team is unworthy of their achievements.
None of that takes their names off the Cup.
None of that brings down a banner from the rafters.
Reputations change. History doesn't.